Feeling stuck doesn’t always look like falling apart. Sometimes it looks like you’re still doing everything you need to do, but inside you feel frozen. Like your brain is running a mile a minute, your body is tired in a way sleep won’t fix, and you’re carrying more than anyone can see.
That’s the place this episode speaks to.
In Episode 285, I sit down with Misty Coy Snyder, the founder of Happiness Down Syndrome and host of the podcast Bold Voices Soft Hearts. Misty’s story begins on March 6, 2020, when she got the phone call that changed everything. She had done genetic testing because she wanted to find out the baby’s gender, and instead she heard the words “high risk for Trisomy 21” meaning Down syndrome.
Misty describes the moment like an out of body experience. Like it couldn’t be real. Like she was underwater trying to make sense of what she was hearing. And to make it even heavier, the news came wrapped in repeated “I’m sorry” statements from her OB which landed like a message her nervous system couldn’t ignore: this is bad.
When she talks about that day, she also names what so many parents think but don’t feel safe saying out loud. The fear. The panic. The thoughts that immediately turn inward. What does this mean for my life? I’m not one of those moms. I can’t do this. It’s painful to admit, and it’s also deeply human. Misty looks back now and sees it clearly: she wasn’t selfish. She was scared.
At one point, she collapsed at the bottom of the stairs and kept repeating, “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.” And her husband said something simple that shifted everything: “We can. This is our baby.”
It didn’t erase the grief, but it created movement.
Misty shares that after the diagnosis, she spent a weekend in bed. For some parents it’s a weekend. For some it’s months. For some it’s years. But her turning point came when she met with a genetic counselor who offered something her brain desperately needed: hope, truth, and a way forward.
And from that moment on, Misty chose an anchor phrase that she still lives by today: do the next right thing. Not the whole plan. Not the full future. Just the next step in front of you. She explains it beautifully when she says, “I can still be grieving and I can still move forward.”
This is also where community comes in.
Misty didn’t know anyone with Down syndrome. And with the world shutting down just weeks later, it would have been easy to isolate completely. Instead, she posted in a local mom group asking if anyone knew a child with Down syndrome and a mom immediately responded, “Call me.” That phone call led her to the Down Syndrome Diagnosis Network, where she met other moms who were living in the exact same season she was. She says nothing was ever the same after that.
Because being stuck gets heavier when you’re alone.
And the truth is, you don’t need the same diagnosis to need the same support. You just need people who understand what it’s like to be the one carrying the fear, the uncertainty, the mental load, and the grief that coexists with love.
If you’ve been feeling stuck lately, I hope this episode reminds you of something simple and powerful: you don’t have to figure it all out today. You only have to do the next right thing.
Listen to the episode right now!
